loveheldhigh

jan-feb.

2012-02-11T11:31:00.000-08:00

after bby enlisted, me being on my own for 5 days and only get t see him for 2 days,NOT EVEN FULL DAYS actually. i dont even know if i am getting stronger or am i just pretending t be stronger. without bby during th weekdays, i guess i just have more time t myself. but when bby's out for 2 days, i cant help thinking that sooner or later we might not get t spend both days tgt. just last week, bby told me that maybe he MIGHT have t book in on sunday morning instead of th usual 5pm. and i just cried. its like, i cant afford t lose any time w him at all. even if its just 5 hours. i thought i was becoming a little bit tougher at least, but i guess i just have t act like i can do all without him cuz that way im convincing myself too. getting used t th routine, 5 days alone and only 2 days w him is not easy at all. but slowly, i start t realise how t not take him for granted when i can finally get t see him. i start to leave all those stupid fights we use t have aside. because we cant afford that kinda time at all. is this how couples get stronger? putting aside all th unnecessary unhappiness with each other and moving on. Not thinking about whether what he's doing is taking you for granted for not, not thinking about how could he possibly do such things t me. overlook every thing because i cant stand t waste ANY time at all. whatever it is, i feel like this relationship is getting stronger every week. its a scary thought t be away from each other 5 days and only get together for 2 days every week, but as long as we stay together and know that i have you, Alden chong, in my heart and me in yours, im not afraid baby.

common test is coming up, time t study!

Saturday~

2012-02-11T10:54:00.000-08:00

nothing much happened,

went to pei hsien's concert and saw how th neighbourhood school kids display their horrendous concert etiquette. URGH fucking annoyed. well, at least they dressed properly enough for me not t judge them. its just so fucking annoying? all those boys just dont know how t present themselves properly in public. even as im blogging this, i feel like punching them in their face. they even bullied my friend back in secondary school. SHOULD HAVE JUST DID THAT JUST NOW. URGH. didnt grow enough balls i guess.

went t eat at at clementi and bby came t pick me after. bussed 154 back t mcpherson and bussed home. so tired~~ cant wait t spend vday w my love tmrw since i cant see him on vday itself. and theres not much time for us t meet anw since i have school and all. AND GUESS WHAT. bby was like ,"tmrw we go town kay" LIKE WHUTTTTTT. TTLY STUNNED. i mean hes not th type that likes t hang in town and all. but well, hehe eggcited and wtv it is its still gna be special. hope tmrw goes well. *fingers crossed*

reconsidering about getting th hello kitty from build a bear, its so expensive. :(

k wtv, hehe bestie derek got me a fererro rocher v day thingy from this super random provision shop at th busstop at clementi mall. HAHAHAHAHA i was like eh derek v day coming leh. i want th flower. *points at th folded felt paper roses surrounding th soft toy bear* and th auntie's like oh its 12.50 and IM LIKE OH OK NVM THE CHOCOLATE ONE CAN ALREADY. hahahaahah its only 2.50. heh, :):) like some spoilt brat like that. point only and get it. BUT IM NOT OK. CHEH.

miss all th times when we still get t see each other on vday back in KC. haha, everybody would exchange presents altho they're not even a couple. people walk around w flowers and heart balloons. rlly miss all those times. :( doubt i'll see that in MI tho. owell, sucks.

International kissing day.

2012-02-06T05:18:00.001-08:00

Monday :(

2012-02-06T05:16:00.001-08:00

Spoilt like that.

2012-02-04T09:21:00.001-08:00

So, th week has ended. New week is gna start already. Orientation finally ended, fucking tired thruout th whole time. Idk why either. 3rd day im like dead already. Cant express how thankful and grateful i am for th ogls. They rlly did a great job hyping up th clan. Met bby after orientation on fri tgt w uncle james. Went home and had supper at coffeeshop and headed home. Was so damn tired, i was on my bed for only 10 mins or so? I ttly dozed off already. Sat, skipped dental. Too lazy t wake up for anything. Late for piano as well. Went t bby's house after and went t ws for macs and berylite. Walked home and most of th relatives were all there already. Ate and all, bby spend 3 hrs gambling and won 16 when we couldve done smth so much better. Sigh, was so damn mf disappointed. Threw tantrums and all. Urgh, was so tired and all already. Arnd midnight we walked arnd th park connector and took cab from ehub. While walking bby was like, "i think your phone vibrated just now" and i saw his text. Heheeeeee <3 i couldnt help but smile even tho im so mad at him for wasting our time on gambling. Bby sent me home and went home too. Gna see bby soooon :)

Chinese new year weekend!

2012-01-28T10:09:00.001-08:00

CHINESE NEW YEAR WEEKEND AND

32ND MONTHSARY!

We really can create a future for us together.

2012-01-27T21:19:00.001-08:00

So bby booked out yesterday. Hehe, finally see him after so long. Cabbed over t pris after a long day at sch. Damn tired. :( ate curry chicken at home and left for tampmall. Bby went t buy his ps3. And bought an extra pink controller for meee hehe. But he only bought one soccer game. So like.... Sigh. Must learn how t play. Bby cabbed me home and we had a heart t heart talk at th playgroud. Heh, and homed!

Future Fund

2012-01-26T08:07:00.001-08:00

So, Started our future fund t save for
Our future tgt. Cuz.. Im high maintenance hahahaha. Only a pathetic 200 bux in it right now. Hahaha, will get more tho. Target t have 1k plus by end of th year~

240112

2012-01-24T07:25:00.001-08:00

32 months ago, we got tgt on this day 23:24. Today is th first monthsary of this year, and we're gna do it differently this year hubby. We're gna save money, for us, for our future. I love you hubbyhonghong.

Was suppose t post this at 23:24 but stupid laptop got problem. Owell, just finished writing in our book, gna slp now. Gna post about cny sooooon. Nighty!

2012-01-23T09:05:00.001-08:00

Jack and jill

2012-01-20T09:36:00.001-08:00

Went shopping tday and bought a new pair of heels for myself. Hehe, FOR CNY! Now i have t think abt what t wear cuz it doesnt match my dress. Sighhhhhh, i feel like my dress is too tight for me also. :( argh fucking fat. ANW! Met my babylove tday. :) went over t bby's house. Had dinner~ thn went t watch th movie jack and jill tgt w sherwin and jocelin. FUCKING FUNNY MOVIE! Hahahaha. Laughed until i cry for a thousand times. Then we slacked around, met huimin after a thousand years.....and went home~~ so glad i finally met her.

We Are Young

2012-01-19T20:38:00.001-08:00

Still rmb last year i wore high heels for cny. And bby's cousins decided t go fly kite on GRASS PATCH which has slopes and impossible for me t walk on. So bby gave me his slippers, and he walk barefooted. Hahahaha.

2012-01-18T08:06:00.001-08:00

32nd monthsary is coming. And we get t celebrate our 32nd together. Hehe, hopefully get t spend th wholeday. Gna do something special. Since its th first monthsary of 2012.
I love you and miss you so much dear. Said we're not gna tell each other we miss each other but i miss you soo much. So i realised i got fatter and i was complaining abt it t bby. He encouraged me t continue eating :(sighhh so fat. :(

Iridescent

2012-01-16T08:06:00.001-08:00

Been thinking what t do w bby this weekend. Altho its still 4 days away. Gna have katong laksa on saturday, and hopefully get some new year clothes for bby. Sunday, was planning t just laze in bby's house and watch movies. Since we havent rlly spend proper time together. But mummy will be home and it'll just be awkward. Times like these i rlly hoped me and bby had our own home. Owell, thn its chinese new year!!! Hehe. Gna see bby 4 days in a row. Feel my excitement yet? Heh. Hvnt rlly been on a diet t fit my new year dress. But i think i'll do just fine. *cross fingers* bought new earpiece tday. Hehe so happy. New shoes, new bag, new ear piece. Made up for my horrible HORRIBLE weekend on th first week of 2012. Owell, miss bby so much. Just now we decided not t say i miss you t each other so we would stop reminding ourselves how long more till we meet, hoping this would make time pass faster. Maybe this will be better. Hehe. I love my dearrrdearr so much.

Mockingjay

2012-01-15T08:05:00.001-08:00

So, first week of school ended. But i didnt go t school for one day. Im so tired of school, tired of having t catch up w my school work because H1 A lvls is this year end. And im so tired of not having bby around anytime i want. Not that i am, but this distance thing rlly made us stronger. But whenever bby's back in camp on sunday, i feel so lost. Went t watch movie w bby on saturday after going for joey's bbq. So happy bby went over w me, watched we not naughty and its... Nice. Hahaha. Damn touching. Thn cabbed home after th movie, got a scolding from mum cuz i was home at about 3. But it was all worth it. Hahaha, miss bby so much. After 5 fucking school days, i only get rewarded 2 days w darr. Spend my sunday at home cleaning th house. Threw away alot of stuff. Oh and got myself new vans for school. Hehehhe. It was love at first sight.

Rlly miss my dardar right now. Sigh, been so long since we spent proper time together. Hopefully next week, with th long weekend and chinese new year. We can spend more time together. I love you dar. <3 i'll be strong, cuz im your princess. Everytime when i feel down and helpless because you're not here, i'll here your voice in my head telling me,"dar, just stay strong okay?" and i know i'll be fine. Cuz you're not far away, you're right here in my heart. I love you.

Back 2 school

2012-01-08T11:09:00.001-08:00

Hving this freaking pain on my left belly. BEEN HERE SINCE FRI. Ohgod.

Anw, tmrw marks th start of my new semester but same shit all day. Probably double. So i'll be in school studying and bby'll be training back in camp. Hate t be independant, but i have t be strong for my bbylove. Urgh, thinking of having t be strong just sucks. So tired, but this annoying pain just hv t act up in th middle of th night. What th fuck. :( wish bby was here t put his warm magic hands around me so i would feel better. Sigh..

Sick likka pig

2012-01-07T13:11:00.001-08:00

So hv been sick since friday. Went over t meet bby and th wind just fucked me up totally. Shivering t my bones. Went home temp was still damn high. Bby drank coffee t stay awake so that he could take care of me in case i feel damn sick. Went over t bby's at 4am in th morning cuz i rlly could take putting towel for myself. Every movement makes my head ache like mad. Bby took care of me until my fever was gone thn we went t slp. But woke up shivering like mad. There wasno fan but i was mad cold. Bby put towel for me again cuz it went up t 40 degrees. Vomitted 2x. Ttly sucks. Omfg. Thn bby continued putting towel for me th whole day. My temp just kept rising and falling. So thankful bby's there t take care of me. If this were t happen t me on a weekday i prolly wouldve died.. Bby barely even slept. Drank coffee use com so he wont fall asleep.

Thank you bby for wasting your saturday taking care and getting so worried for me, thank you for taking care of me.. Im so touched altho th fever keeps coming back. I love you dear, i will miss you so fucking much when you book in. T.T

Back in your head.

2012-01-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

so tday bby went back in camp and im alone again. sigh, hate this feeling. guess i'll start t grow t get used t it, i have to. feel like going back t school t study tmrw, but i must be crazy. its so far, argh. idk, so frustrated now becuz first, i havent done my hw. second, i can only see bby on friday. ITS KILLING MY EVERY FUCKING CB DAY OK. i only left bby like.. 6 hours ago and im acting like i havent seen in him 10 years.

k ENOUGH OF TH EMO SHIT.

just wna say that i had sucha a fucking awesome end t th year 2011 altho it sucked balls. and i know 2012 is gna be worse. i'll just keep looking back on these days that me and bby spend. we were so happy :) went shopping on 30th, on new years eve we watched movies and i had my midnight kiss while countdowning, so i had a fucking awesome end t 2011 and fucking awesome start t 2012. and we continued watching movies until 4 and i went home. then on new year met bby and we bought pasar malam food and ate at home while watching kim kardashian and kris humphries scam marriage. hahaha. we havent been that happy for some time already, spending so much time together alone. i really dk what i would do without him.

so that day i asked bby when is th ugliest you've seen me? and hes like.. WHEN YOU'RE SLPING.

:(:( so straightforward know. so hurt. HAHAHAHHAHAHA nah im not. i admit i look hideous when im slping. im not slping beauty altho i kinda am.

my post is just so wordy,

thank you t those who even bother t read till here. i blog not t entertain you guys but t keep a journal.

NEW YEARS EVE + HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2011-12-31T12:50:00.001-08:00

Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!!!! :) hehe. I had a fucking awesome new years eve + new year. :) spend it w my love of course.

WATERFRONT WAVES FUCKING PRETTY

YUMMMMMM

hehehehe. had my midnight kiss t start of th year

spend new years at home w bby brenden sherwin and jocelin.

heh so much love.

heh this is trisha. going to start school st kcp tmrw. so eggcited for her.

watching i am no.4 in th living room. heh

So yesterday (new years eve), went over t bby's hse in th aftnoon and we watched 50/50 on my laptop hahahaha quite boring. I was so restless thruout th show. But its touching tho. Thn it was about 5, so i left for my godma's hse and bby left for nainai's hae t celebrate new years. Went t my godma's house at Waterfront Waves. FUCKING PRETTY!!! They have like this platform thingy by th window. yknow like on a lazy day you can just sit there and read a book kind. Wah. T.T i also want *envy* thn me and my siater took a walk around th condo. THEY HAVE FUCKING BENCHES IN TH POOL. Omg T.T *more envy* its like.... Th bench is above th water surface but its along th pool. AND ITS DAMN ROMANTIC KNOW!!! LIKE AT NIGHT. Wah, but if you use your phone or what its quite dangerous. Drop only, its gone. Ahahahahah. Thn we walked around more and they have a underwater gym in th small pool. HOW COOL IS THAT?!?! Wah. Srsly?? K enough of th jealousy. But srsly, th pool is some cool shit. Slacked around abit, thn me and my sister decided t head over for a swim on monday. Heh. And prolly jog too! Since ive gain like 1000 kg? Not exaggerating at all. Im so fat now. Then i left t meet bby. Cabbed over, met jocelin thn went t bby's house. Uncle james and all were there. Brenbren and trisha too! Heh. Trisha is going t kcp~~ haahahah. Gna be in BU1. Sigh, brings back all th memories~~~~ and she totally has th kc girl look. Owell, shes mixed blood and has super nice eyes and damn pretty. She'll totally fit right in. Thn they left hoping t catch th fireworks at marina. So me bby jocelin and sherwin tgt w bren bren stayed home and eat our pizzas and watched countdown on tv WHICH WAS BORING. And how time flies~ we just settled down and i just started eating my first pizza, th emcee was like its 10 secs t 12. And im like ?!?! So fast?!?! Hhahaha thn they countdown and bby kissed me at midnight. Heh. Could nv ask for a better way t end my 2011 and start my 2012. Hehe. Continued watching countdown 2012 and went t bathe cuz it was damn hot and my hair was so URGH GROSS. After bathing, me and trisha was like talking about how she is not excited about gg t kcp cuz she wants t stay and study in one of th pasir ris schools cuz all her old friends are going there. And im like some big sister telling her its nice t make new friends right? Thn shes like no.. I want my old friends. Hahahaa so cute. Thn bby brought out th mattress and we watch movies in funshion in th living room cuz its less warm. Watched i am number four. ITS QUITE NICE WHUT!! Well bby and me liked it! Heh. His pet dog so fucking cute and sweet lor. Owell. Thn we slacked armd for abit and i went home~ :)

hehe w my best godbrother ^^

so i woke up at 5 on th first day of 2012. what a nice start :) heh. went over t meet bby, then we went t pasir ris recreational centre t have Once Upon A Milkshake which cost fucking 6 bucks for one cup. wt... but its nice ^^ hahaha. had th vanilla oreo one. gna try another one another time~ hehe. then we walked over t th pasar malam and bought ramly burger + tako balls + economic beehoon and this prawn bread thingy that bby likes which is quite special cuz its only nice if you eat it w green chilli (th spicy one). its his favv. took bus back cuz i was damn lazy t walk ahahhah. homed and watched kourtney and kim take new york followed by keeping up w th kardashian. hahahaah it was nice. we sat down and eat then bby was like,' why didnt we do this before?' haahha so much warmth. we just sat down on th floor and eat and watch tv. hehe, then we watched more tv. aft went down t meet sunny for awhile. and went home~

so i spend th first day of 2011 w th love of my life.

this is th best new year ive ever had.

my love~

2011-12-30T08:48:00.001-08:00

ytd when i gave bby th baggu bag i bought for him, he just put in on and started walking around th house w th baggu bag slinged over his shoulders. HAHAHA sho cute.

tday was a great day!! :) went over t bby's house in th morning and woke him up, hehe waited for him t wake up and then we waited for mummy t cook breakfast until i fell asleep. HAHAHA. was suppose t go swimming but went shopping instead cuz bby was itching for new clothes. met sunny after, then bought chinese new year decorations that cost about 100 plus? wtf. damn crazy, i will never spend that kinda money. owell~ went over t sunny's house t slack abit, and then me and bby walked home fro tampines safra. thats like 5km++ hahahaah. AND WE DID IT!!!!! halfway thru we wanted t take bus, but we didnt. WOOTSWOOTS. SO PROUD OF US. So we walked by th reservoir despite all th creepy deaths in like idk how many months -.-|| still velli romantic lah, hahahahaa. we sang like there was nobody at th reservoir when there were ppl jogging pass and all. HAHAHA ok, more like I SANG. bby just keep shutting me up. and, i cant believe im saying this but, it wil rain by bruno mars is a nice song.

cuz there'll be no sunlight if i lose you baby, there'll be no clear skies if i lose you baby, just like th clouds my eyes would do th same. if you walk away,everyday it will rain.

what a perfect way t describe 'i can't do without you'

havent had such a sweet and peaceful weekend w my bbylove already.

so glad we're still here. so saw somewhere (twitter/tumblr)that says,'2011 is ending, take th opportunity t finish what you started'

so i took th chance t apologize for whatever that happened this year, all th bullshit i put him thru, all th things i did that broke his trust for me time and time again, all th things i said and did that make him feel useless and all th mistakes i made. 2012 is gna suck balls, its gna be tough cuz dar will be in NS, its gna be tough cuz im YR2, its gna be tough cuz we can't meet as often even for our upcoming monthsarys and our 3rd year. but i know, our love will get us through. im gna have faith in us okay my love? i wont break your trust anymore. you have my word. i will just buy more sweets and wait for you t bookout every weekend. :) you don't have t believe, cuz i'll prove it t you.

last 3 days of 2011.

2011-12-29T09:31:00.000-08:00

so tday is bby's bookout day!!! hehehe. went over t bby's place after uncle james's send him home. waited for bby t bathe and wash his clothes thn i secretly hid th pack of stickys i bought for bby in his bolster. hehe, cuz i couldnt find th meiji grape sweet anymore, so i bought th love hearts stickys for him. hehe, knew it was tough t be in there with all th hxc training and all so i always buy sweets for him t eat during weekends. ^^ after that we went t watch alvin and th chipmunks. honestly, i still cant rlly accept th fact that we sat thru th entire movie cuz its ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS -.-||||| we couldnt get in time for sherlock holmes so... owell! my dear slept in th movie cuz he was damn tired woke up at 5. im sucha a bad girlf, make him go watch movie w me when hes so tired. after movie, walked around t ws and bought strawberry cheesecake and strawberry milk from 711 then i cabbed home. WHAT A NICE DATE :)

Christmas

2011-12-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

christmas eve at uncle jame's house. :)

i started some bullshit nonsense, but still managed to salvage things. saw how bby was struggling w th fact that im hiding him from my family even after 2 and a half years, saw how devastated he was because there's still a possibility we might not be together in th future. but we fight for our future, thats what make things worthwhile. but we had a rough time, on our 31st months + christmas eve, but at least bby knows my heart is w him 100%.

th rings bby bought for me. :)

bby came t pick me after work and he isnt late. well, that's a first. HAHAHAH. met sunny after, went t eat porridge and then went back t bby's house t slp cuz i was damn tired. i slept while bby use com. then watched human centipede 2. FUCKING GROSS SHOW OMFG. we ordered macs after that and while i was chewing my prosperity burger halfway, and being very unglam open my mouth and chew all. th food fell out of my mouth. THEN I GOT REMINDED OF TH MOVIE. OMG. T.T IDK WHY. its a damn mf disgusting show. so many gore and blood. URGH, sickkkkk. met sunny after, then we quarrell until damn bad and thought that taking a break was better. so i went back w sunny. then around 2am, bby called me but i refuse t pick up. he texted me and ask me t meet him downstairs t at least let him have a chance t say smth.. didnt want t go down, but i took it as his attempt t fight for us. went down, bby hugged me and didnt let go. and we talked things out and he promised t change. maybe im being stupid, but i decided t put my fear of getting hurt again aside and take a leap of faith. i hope we'll be stronger this time and stop saying things like breaking up. i love you dar, and we're gna make things work.

manage to convince myself t give him another chance. then when i was hugging bby, he took out th ring that i left in his coin pocket (wanted t hint t him im ready) and ask me t be his girlfriend. altho its not very romantic, but i still said yes. bby was like grabbing my left fourth finger and already putting th ring in. HAHAHAH :) then we slacke awhile more, cabbed back t bby's house and slp. CONSIDERED SLPOVER RIGHT!!! hahaha, k wtv -.-||

woke up around 1? and went t whitesands t take passport photo cuz bby needed it then we took bus 21 home. been some time since bby send me home by bus. heh miss th old times~~

Its today!! :)

2011-12-23T01:52:00.000-08:00

So im downstairs my house waiting for sunny t come pick me so we can go pick bby up at cck. Heh and im so bored so..... My fringe look so nice. Hahahahaha. Whatevs. Im so eggcited t see bby that i didnt know wht t wear. Usually i'll just grab whatevr i see. Hahaha. Owellll. In abt 2 hours time!! :):) hehe.

2012 is coming

2011-12-22T05:49:00.000-08:00

been thinking of some new year resolutions.

To last w bby despite th fact that we can only see each other on weekends.
To promote
Save some money for myself

thats all.

bby enlist day 10 of 11

2011-12-22T05:47:00.000-08:00

IT'S.TMRW.IT'S.TMRW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

WOOTSWOOTS. finally can see bby after soo long :) hehe. so this holiday i havent been studying. have lost my habit of studying since like way before promo 2. i have no idea why. T.T gna die when next year starts but im gna do my best t cope. tday slacked at home hoping that my parents would let me go over t bby's place t stayover. BUT NOOOO I STILL CANT WTF. and my sister can. and she last minute ask summore, fucken annoying? kill joy max. in about 45minutes time bby's gna call and i got a good news t tell him. hehehe. owellllllllllllll, heard something very childish that someone did. srsly wtf is your problem. bitch stare? rlly ah? grow up lah boyboy. -,-|||

anws, hehe im so eggcited t see bby tmrw. gna take picture of him in his uniform. HHAHAHAH can you imagine? like.. Alden Chong wearing police uniform. HAHHAHHA I CANT IMAGINE.

Bby enlist day 9 of 11

2011-12-21T10:52:00.000-08:00

Woooooots 2 more days! :)

Met kim and chris at kim's house. Then we went t tamp for topshop cuz i wna see if they still have my dress. BUT NO SIZE. So we went t marina and i got my dressss!!!! YAYYYYY SO HAPPYYYYYY!!!! Hehe. :) thank you christina and kimberly for accompanying meeeee hehehe. :) and i think bby is gna get th dress for me. CUZ I GOT NO MONEY T RETURN HIM. HUAHUA~ its okay. When i get my pay i will. <3 miss my bbylove so much. 2 more days leh!!! :):):)

bby enlist day 8 of 11

2011-12-20T07:58:00.000-08:00

this few days gone by pretty fast.

so today, went over t kim's place t pick her then bussed t vivo tgt w chris. walked around and look for christmas presents t buy then left for pp cuz we were craving for some ramen.bumped into my AIAI, heh HAD VOLCANO RAMEN AFTER SO LONG. then we slacked abit at sogurt.

planned for this weekend already!!! wootswoots.

23rd-gna pick bbby up from cck mrt then prolly go home first t put bby's clothes then out for dinner.

24th- prolly going out w bby t spend 32th monthsary then going to uncle james house celebrate sherwin's and one of his cousin's birthday and also christmas~~

25th- got work till 3. then maybe gna go out w bby t spend christmas. then gonna go for christmas dinner tgt w th girls :)

sounds like a fucking awesome weekend + christmas.

bby enlist day 7 of 11.

2011-12-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

4 MORE DAYSS!!!*SPAZZZZ*

TDAY WAS A VERY GOOOOOD DAY~ to a certain extent.

so, kim came over then we went t katong i12 together w AIAI. In th end we settle for Astons. Had bolognese AND ITS NOT NICE. waited for chris and vic t come meet us. then we went t parkway. shopped at cotton on, bought a top! hehehe. and like.. 9 pairs of earrings, of which i only wanted 4 pairs. BUT IT ONLY COST ME 2 BUCKS. so i just bought it since my other bronze ball ball earring spoil. T.T yay! replaced my earrings. then we cabbed over t udders to see amelia~ hahaha. had waffles w cookies and cream ice cream. WOOTSWOOTS. DAMN SHIOK. then after awhile felt like eating rum and raisin. HAHAHA. fat t th fucking max. sent jasmine off, then walked to macs and went back to udders wait for ame end work and then i cabbed home~ yay awesome day cuz i got t eat udders after so long and also met up w th girlssss~~ wooooots.

realised i didnt upload th photos.

this was th other day, before bby enlist. we went t eat secret recipe.

misss bby so much now, sian i used up th money im suppose t treat him macs. HAHAHAHAHA!!! OOOOOPS.

Bby enlist day 6 of 11

2011-12-18T09:44:00.000-08:00

BAD DAY.

woke up on time, but late for work. cuz i was about t take bus and my bus card had no money and it was raining T.T wanted to take cab.. 3 person stole 3 of my cabs. wtf? GOT SO UNLUCKY NOT. then finally reached, start work. then during work fucking hungry, got th pre-gastric feeling already, cannot tahan. close shop and went t get macs. then i entered pay by cash when its suppose t be pay by NETS. then some customer made me do th transaction then cant pay cuz no cash and idk how to void. wtf... T.T then i wanted to clean my hands before i eat. then th water spill all over th place. WTF... even my bag also wet leh. sian, and it was after dinner period, imagine th crowd? :( but it dried up by th time i close shop so i didnt have t ask th aunti come mop for me. heh, alot of complications during closing cuz i entered so many things wrongly. SIAN~ went home and sister bought 4 box of tauhuey for me to eat cuz ytd my mum bought and i was fighting w her for her's when i finished mine. hahaahhaha, but i only managed t finish 2. overdose of tauheuy~~

meeting t girls tmrw, heh so eggcited. so long never see allll of them. lastly....

4 MORE DAYSSS!!!! UNTIL I GET T SEE BBY AGAIN. YAYYYYYY. HEHEH :):):)

Bby enlist day 5 of 11.

2011-12-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

Almost halfway there~~ yayerz! :) so tday went piano thn came home. Slep, thn met sunny. Went t i12 katong t see see look look. Hahaahah, not bad. Theres alot of good food there~ heh. But no clothes. Sianzx.

Full shift tmrw~ argh. After tmrw its.. 4 more days till i get t see bby!!!!!!!!!

<3 the other day~

2011-12-17T09:02:00.000-08:00

Cycling th other day~ hehe. Brought brenbren out too. And i treat bby humm! Heh. And bby bought stingray for me. :) cycle until my buttttt pain. But it was a rly good day w bby. :) miss him so much now. Wna touch his botak head. Hehe.

Bby enlist day 4 of 11

2011-12-16T08:52:00.000-08:00

Day 4... Hmmm. Went t school for consultation. Came back and it eas raining, so i bussed t tampmall wanted t go t th shop and take my keys cuz i got full shift on sunday. But boss took th keys away. So i just went walking around tamp one. Went t disney shop, made 2 beaded keychain one for me one for bby. Hehe. So kewt. Didnt manage t talk t bby on th phone tday. Cuz battery was running out. Sigh T.T damn sad, but better that way. At least i wont feel worse after bby put down th phone if he calls. Its less than a week now!!! :):) tmrw got piano then meeting sunny. Sunday working full shift~ then its 5 days till i can see my bbylove!!!! Hehehehe so happeh. Gna go pick him up at cck.

Bby enlist day 3 of 11

2011-12-15T09:55:00.000-08:00

I fucking miss my hubbyhonghong right now. I need t hug him :( urgh and look at his eyes. Rlly miss th way he look at me, touch my face and call me his laopo. HAHAHAHA. :(:(:( sigh.. 7 more days!!

So tday, met up w CC! Heh thn went t jalan bersah food centre for derek dad's turtle soup and claypot rice. HUAAAAAAA. Supa shiok. Then we slacked abit at macs, thn bussed t vivo~ walked around and looked for ph's tights. Bought rubber bands, some pins and nail polish! Took 1half hour bus home. Bought fish soup went home w nic and derek. Had our supper and watched x factor at th same time. Then bby called!! But didnt talk for long.. Sigh. Bby's batteries left half. Have t last till 23rd. I wna cry already. So tmrw only can text. T.T *cry*

i rlly miss you so much right now hubby. :( im gna hug you for half an hour. Hahahaha! Im serious. Ahya, you cant see this anyway.. Absence rlly does make th heart grow fonder. And bby asked me t treat him macs. Hahahaha, so cute. Just gotto wait for bby t come out.

bby enlist day 2 of 11.

2011-12-14T07:29:00.000-08:00

so, good news is DAY 2 IS OVERRRRR and bby's coming out on th 23rd which means its only 10 days. but it still sux t not be able t see my bbylove for so damn long. SIGH. woke up at 11 and got damn sian. went back t slp till 3 so th day would pass faster. woke up, met sunny and lijin and went t th doctor's again t get cough medicine. sigh, my cough is still killing me. th doctor says my tonsils are huge so i get sore throat easily. WTF?

gna go derek's dad place for turtle soup tmrw then going swimming then astons. hopefully tmrw past by as fast as today. i miss my bby so so so so much. :(:(:(

Bby enlist day 1 of 11.

2011-12-13T06:40:00.000-08:00

So, its day one. Still bearable and tolerable. This is gna be a very very boring post. Its for bby t see when he gets back. So morning, went t sch. And played some games that we're suppose t play for next year's orientation. Th best game is th holes on th pipe one. I was at th bottom suppose t block th holes so that water wont flow out. Grp members have t carry water in a cup WITH HOLES and pour into th pipe. So me, trynaa be smart and leader all hahaha covered th whole first at th botton so water wont leak out. I WENT FOR A BATH OKAY. Cuz th cup had holes and while its pouring into th pipe, water is flowing out of th holes in th cup ON ME. Wah gg. So my fingers was stuck in thatsame spot for 10 minutes. SQUATTING. Omg.. But it was fun. :) haha got all wet and gross. Changed to my OG shirt and went westmall w derek mingqian and shadrina for gongcha. Bussed home. Bathed. Met up w derek and bussed t town!! Heh. Had everything w fries and ice cream at cold stone. Omg th ice cream is fawesome!! W th waffles. Hahaa but i was damn full by then. Couldnt finish. Haha, thn FINALLY BBY CALLED!!! Heh. Miss him soooo much. :( sigherz. Its day 2 tmrw! Gna meet sunny buy his dvd player. Guess th next time i can hear his voice, know how he's doing will be tmrw night. :(

Lastly. BIRDY IS TH FUCKING BEST.

Terrible love

2011-12-10T08:59:00.000-08:00

i rlly hope my orthodontist will start to correct my teeth on th lower right. i look like i have a mosquito bite -.-||

picnic plan failed yesterday. so we just stayed home and made some sandwiches and had a picnic at th hut near bby's house and it was raining. went back home then bby treat me to secret recipe @ t1. wanted t eat pizzahut but idk why didnt feeel like eating pizza nemore. left t1 and went home. bought a sweater from Mango. heh, ~~

went t th doctor's in th morning cuz i couldnt take it anymore. my cough was killing me. got my medicine, went home and slept. met bby at around 4? cabbed to ikea t have lunch and buy my candles cuz i finished them. HAHAHA. bought a red colour photo frame, idk what photo t put yet. dont even kno why i bought it. HHAHA It was cute i guess. so i was like thinking all these things should cost around 18 bux uh.. cuz i only had 18 w me. then th cashier scanned th items, and it was 26 dollars. HAHAHAHAHA super joke. i was still damn confident tell bby," AHYA ENOUGH ONE LAH." then bby paid 10 bux for me. HAHHAHA super joke. took th shuttle bus t bedok cuz th cab queue was damn long-.- cabbed home from bedok, homed and toook my meds and went t slp. sigh, wasted th day away cuz i didnt get t spend much time w bby. 2 more days left :(:(:(:(

gna go buy bby's enlistment stuff tmrw and also farewell dinner @ magic wok, HEH.

been listening to birdy's new album. She's awesome man~~

Swimming~~

2011-12-07T09:50:00.000-08:00

So, according t plan. Went swimming w bby, sherwin & jocelin, faiz and brenden. Had a great time there cuz it was th first time me and bby went swimming after so long. -.- hahaha. Went t jurong east recreational an sports centre. The swimming conplex is smth like wild wild wet, but cheaper and less slides. Th lazy pool is damn shallow. Super sian inside. Only theres this part in th lazy pool, its like raining. Damnnn shiok. We keep sitting on th side t enjoy th 'rain' heh. Had KFC after~ then a good sleep in th mrt home cuz it was a longggg way. Reached pasir ris. Was thinking, YES I CAN FINALLY SLP WHEN I GO BACK BBY HOUSE. Then we saw melvinder. -.-|| so we slacked awhile~ and i didnt have time t slp already. Went off t airport t meet nic and camille. Then kim and edy came. Christina and vic also came. Went over t Astons, WOOTWOOTS HAD A GREAT MEAL THERE. CHEAP ALSO. Then amelia came~~ slacked and laughed abit. Then we went back t T3 and send kim off t UK~ heh. I also wna go again. But i wna go paris only. Or maybe london also. But i love paris. K wtv~

Going cycling w bby tmrw then going t lagoon eat. Hehe. But i have sch before that. Super kill joy sia.

Puss in boots.

2011-12-06T08:09:00.000-08:00

so bby met me after work tday. went t s11 had indian rojak. HEHHE. then had nothing better t do so we went t watch movie and th earliest was puss in boots. and we watched puss in boots... -.- but th movie was cute so. heh, wtv la~ after that that boy keep asking me t go cut hair w him but i was damn lazy, so we bussed t central. he gave me his house keys, and he ask me t go home rest first while he go cut his hair alone. hehehe. so i went t bby's house and slack around then bby come back with no hair on his head. HUAHUHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUAHUA DAMNNNN FUNNY. BOTAK SIA.damn cuteeeeee. heh, met sunny after and head t tamp t buy some stuff then went for katong laksa. headed home after dinner,slack around for awhile and went back home cuz i was coughing damn badly and i needed my medicine.

swimming tmrw then off t airport t send my lovergurlll off t UK~~ cant wait.

Fix you.

2011-12-05T08:47:00.000-08:00

when you try your best but you don't succeed.

when you get what you want but not what you need.

And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you cant replace

when you love somebody but it goes t waste, could it be worse?

Hanging high

2011-12-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

sigh, i have no idea how i should even start this blog post.

but uhm...

happy december?

yea, december has finally arrived. Not rlly looking forward to it cuz my babylove is gna enlist. URGH. but its okay~ i know this was gna come for me someday. came at th right time too~ at least we still get t celebrate our 31st/christmas eve togethaaaaa. life's been good. have been sick likka pig but eating like a normal human, which explains th incredibly long time my sore throat is taking t heal and its killing me. Everynight there's a war in my throat and i feel like im gna cough all my intestines out.

so talking about eating likka normal & healthy human, HAHAHA. went t thai express yesterday. i knew i was being suicidal already, but... THAI FOOD LEH. so i had pineapple rice and tom yum soup and mango salad which sucked. th tom yum soup was not spicy enough but still spicy enough t cause a mayhem in my throat. omg.. then today went t geyland sinma eat frog porridge. HUAHUAHUA. not only that, sweet and sour mango fish and fried sotong. SUPER SHIOKKKKKKK

so now im on my bed, drank like... 5? glasses of warm water and its still not helping.

i wna eat chocolates. BOOHOO.

No way

2011-11-28T09:18:00.000-08:00

Just wrote a list of things t do w bby after he end work. Looking forward t it^^ hehe. Hopefully we can do all of it and create some memories before he enlist.

Fawesome day

2011-11-26T12:32:00.000-08:00

my title is an understatement.

so, after 2 hours of piano. went to tamp and bought my hello kitty iphone cover. its silicon so i can finally protect my dear phone. can see th sides like chipping off. URGH, so, yea. but it makes my phone looks damn huge which i do not like. BUT WHO CARES? ITS HELLO KITTY. met kim at bedok then went off t promenade t meet chrissssss. heh, finally saw her again after udders during her birthday which is about a month ago. so i was hoping and praying and damn scared that i get posted to ooloo places OUTSIDE th venue. BUT I WASNT. so we went into th resting room and like i saw bags and bags of plastic ziplog bags that has th stage logo on it. then before i knew what was it, th in charge told us its our shirt and told us t take our size. OMGGGGGGG HAHHAHAAHAHA

K DAMN LAME. but STAGE shirt. i know to other people is like nothing, but its my SECOND stage shirt. huahua damn happy please~~~~~~ so changed already, we finallly know where we're posted to... still quite terrible, was looking after th VIVID booth. IF YOU DONT ALREADY KNOW, VIVID IS A JAPANESE HARDCORE ROCK SCREAMO BAND. yea, and we were beside luozhixiang's STAGE with all th girls and boys. and vivid's booth? me and kimberly w no banners no decorations and there were little merchandises t sell. owell, honestly no offence, i thought VIVID was a drink. but i learn smth new tday k? i will never forget this band in my entire life because.... its so.... uhm kewl. yea k. kewl.

so, me and kim were catching flies at th booth when STAGE's booth was... uhm crowded.. yea.

we felt so small beside them ok. but its okay, its luo zhi xiang, of cuz it has t be like that. or else i will be disappointed as hell~ huahuahua then we just waited and waited. we watched th fucking bipolar rain come and go as it wants and finally it stopped. WAITED EVEN LONGER. but i can understand th fans in th front, they queue since afternoon or even morning, they still have t wait so long and they dont get t seat. so i didnt grumble much about it.

SO.

IT FINALLY STARTED.

but i wasnt happy cuz i knew luo zhi xiang would be last. SIGHERZ. watched vivid, teen top from afar. and didnt rlly notice. but vivid was fucking loud? omfg. -.- like i was dying ok? my ears was suffering. after vivid performed more fans came over t buy their mechandises. some bought to as much as 160++ and some fans were just.. yknow.. recognizable vivid fans because they're like vivid inspired

here's vivid for you:

some are just high from th headbang during vivid's performance. super crazy. some damn sad cuz not enough money buy th merchandises. then i waited longer, so finally it was HEBE'S turn. shes damn pretty and angelic and her voice is rly nice man. new found love for her~ then...

LUO ZHI XIANG CAME OUTTTT HUAHUAHUA.

left th booth and went over t chris side. she was like guarding th vip pit. i like some professional like that. show my crew pass then get t enter vip pit. WAHHHHHH at first i stand behind. then when he came out i just couldnt take it anymore, went t th front. HAHAHAHAHAHA. he was like.... there.. right in front of me. i could see his face and features and all but he was moving damn fast and im partially blind then he sang and danced. ttly made my day ok?!!? i just smile as he performed. just damn happy when i get t see him~ hahahaha. then i went back t th booth sold a few more things and left~

so here comes th after part all thanks to victoria.

ohoh, my new hello kitty coverrrrrr. haha.

teen top's bus and this vic foo was is inside. purposely lift up th curtains t make all th fans outside jealous. DAMN BAD!!! HHAHAHA

she was th assistant for hebe. so she kinda looked after hebe's needs and stuff and was apparently obsessed w teen top? so somehow she got t follow teen top t th airport tgt w th manager. so me kim and chris went t airport hoping t go home w her. THEN GUESS WHAT, SHE WENT TO EAT WITH TH MANAGER AND SOME OTHERS FOR AFTER DINNER. WAHHHHHH. so me nana and kim got stranded at th airport w not enough money money. she came t pick us after~ reached home at 3 eh!!! wah. im already tired as im posting this, just wna record everything when its still fresh in my head cuz it was a rlly awesome dayyy~~~ huahua. LZX!!!

WTV IT IS,

stilll so damn thankful t work for this event. 2 months ago, i didnt even dream about entering or going t th concert cuz i would rather watch th full luozhixiang concert. and now, I WATCHED LUO ZHI XIANG FROM TH VIP PIT. WOOTWOOTS. SO HAPPEHHHH~~~~~ YOU ALL CANT FEEL MY JOY.

30th monthsary~

2011-11-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

so,

tday is 30th monthsary~

bby picked me up and we went t centurysq t watch "you are th apple of my eye" which is a mothafuckin awesome show. i cried like idk what in th movie. HAHAHHAHAH. so sad know, k. then we went t walk around everywhere. then finally settled t eat dinner at Jack's Place. HURHURHUR. had steak, bby had mixed grill. then we took a very long time t eat. haha, after that we took 65 t town and took 65 back t my place cuz bby wanted t slp~ owell. went back t my place, then we sort out some unhappiness. cuz i was like.. quite upset bby didnt give me anything, like not even a letter, but then again i knw bby isnt that type. so i was fighting w myself th whole bus ride. AH~ then at 241111 23:24 he finally took it out. WAH. damn happy. hahahaha, k wtv, i like some small kid happy over little joys in life. k. i had a good time eating steak and crying over th movie. Everybody just go and watch it. its in chinese but its veh nice!!! hurhur.

i love you bby~
MWAHMWAH

Im gna marry your princess and make her my queen.

2011-11-20T08:19:00.000-08:00

-Becoming uglier everyday

-20112011 was awesome. bby woke up specially t pick me from work and send me home. :)

-working at love and bravery, some vintage clothing shop at T1L3.

-Boyce Avenue is muthafuckin awesome. Can listen t them all day.

-i will marry th guy that sings "marry your daughter" t my father. HAHAHAHA.

-Havent started studying

-bby enlisting in less than a months time.

-Need t stop growing fat.

k bye.

bbq tmrw.

so much for

"-need t stop growing fat"

Lijin's birthday~

2011-11-18T09:59:00.000-08:00

lijin's bithday celebration tday~ heh.

so it was hello kitty themed + pink&white themed.

Forks and spoons, plates, tissue paper were all pink.

so yesterday, Sunny, Alden, Yuanyi, Wenhan, Jonathan and i put up allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll th decorations together. super tiring, spent th whole day putting them up. th balloons itself cost a bomb already. there were still bbq food and th PINK forks and spoons plates and stuff. WAH. Damn bloody ex celebration.

owelll~ lijin still enjoyed her birthday. :) our hardwork paid off~ heh and all th kaching kaching.

had chicken wing, stingray, some buffet food and like.. 4 bowls of th logan grass jelly desert. HAHAHAHA. super shiok.

BEST THING IS.

BBQ TMRW AGAIN.

WHICH MEANS.

STINGRAY, CHICKEN WING AND ALL AGAIN.

heh.heh.heh

30th monthsary next thursday.

breaking dawn P1 please bby? :(

A Thousand Years

2011-11-12T07:30:00.000-08:00

so...

In a months time, bby's gna be enlisting.

went t search about it just now, it seems t be easier than army. HAHA quite cool, can learn t use guns, learn about th law all. heh, so interesting. Maybe bby should just sign on t be a policeman then i'll go study law and be lawyer. HAH! easier said than done.

so... th thing that i dread th most has finally come for me: Being independant.

No more dinners after school, no more going t bby's house if im late for school, no more celebrating every monthsary, no more meeting bby in th mornings, no more slacking around w bby during th holidays, lesser movies, lesser time t be together.

but this is a test, i guess if we pass this. This relationship is bulletproof after all.

so, tday i went t find a job. hahaha, not rlly find, i just walked pass th shop and like "EH THEY'RE HIRING" and i went in. then bby got unhappy cuz this way we'll have less time t bond before he enlist. i didnt get angry cuz i knew he just wanted t spend more time w me. but this is best for both of us, getting use t some space. And me having money for next year when i miss th bus i can take cab t school. cuz frankly, i have no where else t go if i miss th bus and i cant go t bby's house.

we'll pull thru this bby, we always do.

gna start making a scrapbook for bby t bring in there.

BUT TH THING IS. i cant do scrapbooks. cuz i suck in art.

but i'll try.

Never let me go.

2011-11-11T12:50:00.000-08:00

so i put up pink wallpaper on my study desk. hehe, looks so yummy now.

And thats th hello kitty speaker. SO CUTE RIGHT.

Can never ask for a better day than tday.

2011-11-10T11:54:00.000-08:00

HAHAH eating marshmallow like damn hungryyy

not satay! drumstick meat that we peel off th drumstick. RAW. Damn squishy and disgusting. but its damn niceee!!!!!!!

SKIN.

fucking goodness.

mmm marshmallowww~

*sit around balloons for effect*

wah damn happy girl.

got hello kitty speakers and hello kitty mini cupboard. HAHAHAHAH

berri nice cake.

oh not t forget~ my hello kitty cake from th girls. and hello kitty balloon which i did not take a picture of.

So loved. Right?

so, met bby in th afternoon, cabbed back home. spent some time together, had a heart t heart talk about when we just started together. There was no "the chase" tbh. it was just i like you you like me, lets get together. never knew we would make it till tday. Remember how, i always go t your house for dinner, and then you'll do something stupid and i'll giggle. couldnt laugh cuz your mum was also at th dinner table tgt w your brother. i giggle and i looked at them, they didnt even react t your jokes. felt damn idiot. i swear, but now. I DONT LAUGH TOO. heh :) i just look at you and ask you t eat your dinner. :) but it as nice. we talked and laugh at our childish times. hahahaha then bby send me off t whitesands when he's suppose t slp. bought th sausages and tongs, and went over t th chalet.

started our mini bbq~ hehe. so eggcited. i put th marshmallow first, cuz i was damnnn hungry. then we had th chicken satay which isnt rllly satay, sausages, corn, potato, crabstick and some others which i forgot. didnt buy chilli sauce so we added honey to all our food. HAHAHAHAH but it turned out t be nice ok. especially th sausage w honey. WAH. SHIOKZ. then we just eat more, laugh more and drink more. HEH. then bby said he was coming, so i waited like bloody 1 hour plus for him and he still havent some, so we just went t cut cake first~ hahaha. off lights, sang birthday song, cut cake. then wah, th timing super perfect. bby called, went outside. then he asked me t accompany him for awhile outside. so im like oh.. okay lor. then i sat on th swing w him. discuss about what t do tmrw all. then suddenly got ppl behind, i turn back then i saw th hello kitty balloon then jasmine, then i knew already.

SURPRISEEEEEE!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA, so kewt sia. kimberly&edy and christina came out w my hello kitty cake. HAHAHAAHAHAHAH.didnt expect it, cuz it was quite late already. but yea, heh heh heh. so loved. then~ we all went back in th chalet for awhile.Finished my cake, took some photos then left th chalet already. it was a great day.

Thank you alllllllll for making this day possible. heh, thank you peihsien, derek, nicholas, xinyi, lifang, xiaohui, tracy and my brother dejin! HAHAH. & also, th girls for making this whole day complete, Jasmine, Kimberly, Edy and Christina and Amelia's soul. HAHAHAHAHA And lastly, my one and only loveerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. heh.

t bby:

i know you very sad i didnt spend my birthday w you. but i still managed t squeeze some time for you dar. we'll celebrate my birthday on 11/11/11 k? then you can do whtever people all waiting to do on 11/11/11 11:11 which i dont even know what it is. make a wish? kiss? idk. whatever. but thank you for everything. th polaroid camera+ the 3 packs of films you got me t take on my birthday celebration, th baggu bag, for cabbing me back and forth everyday, for picking me up from th chalet and sending me home, for joining all my friends t celebrate my birthday which you dont use t do cuz you're shy. for sending me t whitesands just now even when you're famished and exhausted. sorry i said those mean things this morning, i was just damn pissed. i didnt mean it. if tday was a day without you, it wouldnt be what it is dar. i love you, thank you for everything you did. i still owe you your fucking birthday card. sigh, im sucha failure. just know that i love you and thats that. BIGKISSFORYOU. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

3.

2011-11-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

So, in about a months time. Its christmas, followed by new year. This time would be different for us, because you have t book in on th day itself. So we can only spend th eves together. But wtv it is, we'll still stay close and loving. 3rd year im spemding it w you and your whole family at uncle james house. Bby, its 2012 soon. We walked thru 2009, 2010, 2011 together as one. And nothing is gna change that ok bby? I will wait for you t come out every friday. My weekends are yours. Heh. Altho im saying all these now, im still scared t be w myself, t be alone, without you t depend on. I know you're scared and insecure. But im telling you, yes do it once, i can do it again. But, once bitten twice shy. No? I tried it once, i got hurt real bad, i suffered a hell lotta crap from life, saw so many ugly sides of you. I cant even be happy for myself. Now that everything's back in order, i intend t leave things like this. No conplications, no decisions, no heartaches, no obligations. I'll just wait for you. I love you Alden Charming Chong. Haha, i rlly do.

Kiss it better

2011-11-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

it will all get better.

birthday 2011.

2011-11-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

Good food, good company.

All's good.

Clam chowder made me a damn pretty card.

bby got me a polaroid camera.

kor got me a new Gucci wallet.

SCREAMMMMMS.

the chocolate fondue was da best.

2011-10-30T13:55:00.000-07:00

Mt a levels in about.. 4 hours time and i didnt even study. Lost all my notes already. Sigherz. Got advanced t year 2, i prolly should thank god i had a second chance. Altho advanced is not gna look nice on th report book. But i know very well i didnt put in any effort at all. So i deserved it. Next year is gna be tough, w bby in ns and me studying for my H1 A's. Life's been pretty good. Bby bought me a leopard dress for me t wear on my birthday. Heh, i rlly should go and slp now. Mayday Parade on replay.

What sarah said

2011-10-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

I rlly want you t be happy.

one day.

2011-10-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

had my results tday, most likely gna retain. SIGHERRRRRZ. And based on my conduct, its more likely they are gna reconsider advancing me cuz its horrible. T.T went home and slept till 7. Thought bby wasnt gna meet me already but he came :) heh, went t eat prata. bought london choco roll, some biscuits t cheer me up. then we went t th fitness corner, and we had a H2H talk.

depavalli tmrw, gna go relive 29th monthsary tmrw. hehe, BBQ CHICKEN. :):):):) then watch In Time. justin timberlakeeeee!!!!*melts* wna go run @ ecp. but abit impossible, since theres not enough time.

For th first time

2011-10-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

Didnt do much tday. Plan was t eat at BBQ chicken but we slept thru. Hahaha, went over in th morning around 8 as usual, slepttill 3!!! Hahahaha. Damn pig. Woke up had noodles, then watched my drama and we fell asleep again. Wtf. All th way till 9, so no bbq chicken for me. :(:( but bby promised we'll celebrate this another day. Heh. I love you sooo much bby. Tday was a good day.

29th

2011-10-23T11:27:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 29TH MONTHSARY MY DEAR DARDAR.

Echo.

2011-10-22T08:40:00.000-07:00

birthday celebration @ uncle james housey~

i'm not perfect but i'll keep trying.

2011-10-20T10:27:00.000-07:00

You dont know how touched i was when you put your little hands over my head t shelter me from th rain, how you repeatedly tell me you love th way i am and mean it, how you fall asleep almost everytime in th cab because you have t get up so fucking early for work t let me live off you + meet me in th aftnoons. im slowly finding myself back. maybe i should be like you, set reminders t remind myself t make you happy.

Honghong's 18th birthday

2011-10-20T10:13:00.000-07:00

so tday was bby's bithday. hehe, it was a very short day tho. i dont know why. hahhaa, went t tighten my braces in th morning and then went t bby's house wait for him t end work and come home t meet me while i slp. heh, like husband and wife like that. wtv~ so altho it was just me alone in th house, i rlly did enjoy th silence. it wasnt boring or lonely, its relaxing. k nevermind i sound like some freak but yea thats what you get when you are deprived of your personal space back at home. so, bby came home. bathed and went t ehub t watch PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3!! HEHE. its quite fast actually. me and bby watched 1&2. PA3 is already out. owell, its no different from th first and second, pa3 was just damn fucking shocking. all th suspense and horror in one. HAHAHHA damnnn shiok, i screamed in th cinema -.- k then we went t yoguru then met up with faiz and guanzhou. head over t simei t meet th rest of his friends @ starbucks. had a bad time tryna bite cuz i just tighten my braces. how genius? so bby had t eat subway and then buy mushroom soup and cheese fries for me from bbq chicken. heh, gna try th main course on monday(29th) since i got holiday for promotional exercise in school. YAYERZ. ok so, we slacked and laugh and idk? do th usuals. then went over t nainai hse. hehe, i celebrated his birthday for him. light candles cut cake all. :)

bby, i just want you t know. today my only motive was t make sure you're happy. luckily this year my mum not as strict anymore so i could go over and surprise you at 12. been wanting t do that but i cant leave house so late in th past. heh,

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY HUBBYHONGHONG.

this is th 3rd time im celebrating your birthday w you. i hope this year you're happier than th previous years altho i know its not. hahaha, love you bbyyyyyy. ^^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONGHONG

2011-10-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

dar, happy birthday. im happy that i can still be with you on your 18th birthday. as much as i want it t be, things between us are just not th same anymore. th only thing that remains th same, is how we quarrel everyday about stupid things just for fun, how we pamper each other, how we can be so close and comfortable yet dont feel disgusting or shy. haha, talking about shy. WHEN WERE WE EVER SHY T EACH OTHER. :) i just want you t know that ever since i got back with you i feel happy. happy like how i used t be 3 months ago. thank you for changing, not many people can be like you. i know you love me wholeheartedly bby and you're afraid t lose me. but you just have t change a little, retain some of th old you. because i loved you as you were before, it makes no difference now. i still love you as you are. i know you're overwhelmed with insecurities everyday because of th things i did, but please just remember i came back t you which means i will do whatever it takes for us to be how we used t be, if not even better,more loving. i promise im gna make you happy when i see you tmrw because thats how im gna make it up t you. a little by little, t find back th old us. hope you enjoyed th surprise just now. hahaha, altho i woke you up and you refuse t take pictures w me but i know deep down you're touched. heh, i just know. *proud face* this is a long post that has nothing t do with your birthday. i know i owe you all these, all these words t make you feel at ease because i just return back t your life without saying anything t you. dardar, i will wait for th day we're both ready to make some changes to our relationship status. heh, it must be like 240509 23:24pm all over again but more sincere and romantic this time ok! k la, i love you. see you later!

anyways! another veh heartwarming convo just now.

me: dar, i think im gna go find work soon. (deep down i know i wont HAHAHA)

dar: why!

me: money lah. i need money man.

dar: nevermind lah i yang you. everyday give you 15 bucks.

this is why i am so lazy now. lazy likka pig. and ive been meeting this boy everyday and im getting fatter cuz he feed me non stop. SIGHHHH... how t lose weight like that. T.T

skinny love

2011-10-17T09:46:00.000-07:00

so thursday is Alden chong's birthday(as well as aldrea's). :) don't rlly know what am i suppose t do, but everything will not work out as planned, so lets just go w th flow. gna watch paranormal activity 3 tho, but i bet its gna be sucky since we watched 1&2. i mean, its all th same. but still very excited :)

after GEP thing tday, went t wheelock and bought him th chocolate from th chocolate shop. HAHA i have no idea whats th shop name. but th chocolate is nice!! heh, we're gna try alllllllllll th different types. altho some doesnt sound very nice, like lemon chocolate. WTF? yea.

no idea what t buy for that boy. SIGHHHHHHHHH. dar's going t USS tmrw, wonder what hes gna get for me ^^ HAHAHAHA. this post is redundant to th max, but idk. im just damn bored and

fucking funshion isnt fucking working and i cant watch my fucking skins and fucking taiwan drama, fuck my life.

you're so dead.

2011-10-13T00:56:00.000-07:00

so, tday is my 5th day of being alone. And it feels good. kinda like a bird being let out of a cage, heh. im so thankful im finally away from all th complications, the drama, the heartaches, th decisions that i have t make. i know it'll all come again soon. but meanwhile, i'll just enjoy my time doing what i like t do. so i finished watching vampire diaries s1&2. gna rewatch gossip girl for th idkhowmanyth time, skins, HIMYM and then rewatch vampire diaries again. HAAHA, nah prolly gna watch some korean drama or something. anyways,whatever! im gna stay happy and find myself back.

have alot of chalet planned this november. so thankful for my classmates, they're gna put th gathering chalet on my birthday so they're gna celebrate my birthday w me this year. hehh:) gna meet them later t celebrate xinyi's birthday!

my life.

2011-10-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

getting my life back on track.

A

2011-10-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

So im back on blogger.
heh, tumblr just rlly isnt my thing so...

promo exams now, after this i can finally do what i want. so yesterday, everything ended. this 2 months just srsly feels like a dream. never had so much drama in my life before. for now, im just gna cherish whoever that stayed w me throughout this period. cannot imagine how thankful i am to have them by my side. Esp my Lovergurlll&edy, my godbrother, Lijin, Heidi, my AIAI, Nicholas, Derek and all th others that helped Alden go thru this fucked up period. you did put up a good fight alden chong, no matter how tiring it was for me, at least you fought for me. i wont hate you and i will remember you okay?
i will miss blogging about my day w you. but friends foreve yea? :)

take over control.

2011-09-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

You happy I happy.

Depressed.

2011-09-14T13:52:00.000-07:00

IM NOT GETTING OVER YOU. I WILL DIE. LITERALLY.
WHY?
Did you give a damn when i was crying like fuck every single day, and i mean EVERY SINGLE DAY?
Did you give a shit when i wanted to talk to you so bad?
I really loveyou dyknow? Everything is coming back again.

My heart breaks everytime after you talk to him for quite awhile and when you talk to me, 'im tired' appears in 5 mins. You shouldn't have apologised to him because you were following your feelings. You tell him that you're sorry and he says you gotta do more than sorry this time. So by saying u will do more, you're gonna not contact me? Not give a fuck about me? Forget me? What happened to 'following your feelings'? I thought my heart has broken into the littlest pieces until it wouldn't break anymore. nope. still breaking now. I know you feel bad for him. But does he mean so much to you, more than i ever did? You were following your feelings today did you know? He got hurt? You asked me if he was dying inside.

So now he understands what i've felt when you were following your feelings for him when you were in Shanghai. Did you ever ponder over how i felt when you treated me like shit in August? You don't reply my texts. You pressed the red button upon seeing me calling you. You go out till the wee hours with him. You make me not able to contact you. You make me see things that i thought would only happen in dramas. You broke promises. I waited for you for hours to get online in shanghai and when finally you got online. what did i get? in just 5-10mins i get things like 'I dont feel like talking.' 'im tired.'
I told you to call me when you reached singapore. phone call lasted 10seconds and that was it.
Did you think of how i felt when you did all these? I felt so low. So alone. My Darling Princess just chucked me away like that. But what can i do? I loveyou and that is all that matters. With love comes forgiving, and with forgiving comes love. I missedyou so fucking much. Life isn't real now. There is no happiness, no bliss. just fake laughters, fake smiles, masks that i put on outside. What about you? This afternoon, you sadly tell me that we need to face reality soon, the outside world. Have you actually wondered that the reality, the outside world you are saying might in fact be the unreal, and that this afternoon is in fact reality. Shouldn't you be following what you're comfortable and feel nice with rather than follow what seems like wrong or right to other people? this is why i say you are not yourself my dear. Sometimes you have to ask yourself questions to get answers.

Yknow everytime i look at my wallet and see your face there. i smile for 10 seconds, then i realise you're not my gf anymore and i start to get moody for the whole day. I'll never be able to remove the pictures from my wallet though. They keep me breathing, they keep me believing. Now when i meet you, i really want to just hold your hands and play with your little fingers, i want to hug your waist and enjoy the intimacy and closeness. But i cant </3 You matter so much to me. Every phone call from you just lift my spirits up, the time doesnt matter, just hearing your voice does. Every eye contact makes me smile secretly in my heart. Sparks still fly. i was never tired of you, i didn't meant to take you for granted. i never wanted to. When im with you, i feel so satisfied with life. i dont say the sweetest things because i cant sweet-talk for nuts. But i do loveyou. you always tell me not to talk about this. but i really need an answer from you. Will you only missme and loveme when im gone from this world?

I need you. But im not forcing you back. I just dont want you to leave my life. i am really glad that you came into my life. I have always wanted the love of my life to be understanding, loving, faithful and caring. i wanted someone who would accept me for who i am and i know that i've found that person to be you. Never wanted to break your heart. I really dont know what to say now. Life really is shit without you. My dear Muimui, i know and you yourself know that you still have feelings for me. you cant deny it. What's stopping you is that you think that having feelings for me is wrong. Nobody understands you more than me. And your eyes can't lie.

Why am i crying like an idiot at 430am? i dont want to but i miss my baby so much, i really really missher. i want to hear her voice right now. Feel like fucking shit. i miss the times when i wake up and see your face. i miss the times when we laugh so happily together. i miss the times when we cook together. i miss the times when we take bus and cuddle together. i miss the times when you have dinner at my place. i miss the times where i tickle you till you cry. i miss the times when we quarrel but we'll cry and make up. i miss the times when we wipe off each other's tears and assure each other that we love each other so much. Andrea, i once told you that i love myself more than you. It isn't true. He said he'll do anything for you. Will he? Because i will. i knew i wanted you since april 12 2009 when i first contacted you. i knew i needed you since may 24 2009. Never wanted to lose you. i hate it im crying everynight now. i hug aldrea everynight and i try to imagine aldrea is you. but i cant feel your heartbeat, i cant smell your scent, i cant see your beautiful face. I missyou Andrea. My life is still paused, till the day you're back. Because i cant live my life alone. Not without you.

honghong

To your last sentence.

2011-09-13T11:01:00.000-07:00

You told me this before we got together then. Now im telling it to you

My love will get you home.

honghong

The end

2011-09-13T10:45:00.000-07:00

Hi, its Andrea here this time. Havent blogged here in ages, but things have changed. Or rather, i changed. But you just have t adapt to it like how i tolerated whatever you've become after you started t smoke. I never wanted t let you feel the kinda hopelessness i felt when you started smoking and all th cant be botheredness. But thank you dar, thank you for everything these 2 years and 3 months. You've been th best so far, and no one is gna easily change that. What you gave me in this 2 years, is irreplaceable I will always remember them jsyk. You may think like im some heartless bitch. Its okay, i dont mind. Because maybe i really am. I just hope that all th happy moments we had? Dont pollute them because it was real, it was what we have left of each other. That day, i really felt like part of me just suddenly detached from my body and flew away and never gonna come back. All these memories, its will just be a part of us, forever and always. I can never thank you enough for whatever you have given me. I can be myself when im w you. To be honest, i miss feeling so comfortable with somebody. Like how i can rlly be in my own skin and not feel ashamed by doing so. In front of you, im never more than or less than myself. I can act cute, act pretty, act smart, act bimbotic and never feel embarrassed when im with you. I will miss being your girl. That kinda comfortability we have with each other is not easy and takes a long time to grow. Thank you for helping me check my teeth if there is any food and removing them for me, thank you for giving me a second home t rest in other than my own house, thank you for treating me like your wife, giving me part of your first pay for me t buy th things i want, thank you for th everytime you send me home, thank you for hugging me tight whenever i try to fight back, thank you for tolerating all th scott nonsense, thank you for th best pre o level period i had with you and the others. That was rlly th best time i had in my life. That whole period of time, it was just me and you and th others slacking around at superdog, 'studying' and eating. It was rlly th best part of my teenage dream so far. thank you for buying my leather jacket for me with your pay, thank you for loving me th way i am. Thank you for accepting all my flaws and somehow you make them all flawless whenever im with you. I miss th time we had, th times we always set th mood whenever we go out with other friends, how we are bulletproof in everyone's eyes, how we are so destined to be together in the past, being th most 'successful' and mature couple among th others in th family last time. You gave me th security that no other will give me. Thank you for everything. I will miss having you as part of me. If we're meant to be, we'll eventually find our way back home.

Impossible is not a word, its just a reason for someone not to try.

2011-09-11T23:40:00.000-07:00

Dear Heartbreaker :), this will probably be the last time Im posting here so I'll be typing the longest letter I have ever written. I have it on paper, but I dont want to take the risk that you might just crush it and throw it away.Okay so well its been a crazy 1 month and whatever it is, I hope You feel happier now. How time flies, how things changed. I thought I got over You. But memories fucked me over again. Im never gettiing over You. well why should I if getting over You makes me feel unhappier. You're not my number one, to hell with it, your my only one. Sad thing is, your not mine anymore, the intertwining of our hearts since 240509 have since loosen, but im still holding on to every last bit and never letting go. I wont give up. If God has decided to take You away from me like some people say, I'll steal you back. I dont care how long it takes, how pain it hurts and how tired it gets, no one takes something i love so much away from me. I still have so much things I want to do with You that We never had the opportunity to do in the past because of my irrational behaviour. You said we aren't meant to be and that fate did this and did that which caused the situation today. Well look, fate brought us together but fate isn't the reason that broke us apart. The reason is me. Fate played no part whatsoever. In the past, I may not have bought You beautiful gifts on occasions that matter, I may not have empathized when You were crying away and I may not have done the right things to make You feel loved. If you are going to judge me on these things, I know I have failed and let You down. but if only You could look through my heart and see who it is beating for, You would know the depth of my love for You. I might not have shown You love like how a boyfriend should, but what I thought and stayed to is that, love doesn't really need to be shown. Well maybe because it isn't my nature to be expressive, but it doesn't mean that I dont loveYou. Love might not be shown but it resides in the heart just as how my love for You resides deep, deep inside mine. I know that it comes at a point in our lives, in Your life, when You are thinking about what You are doing and where You are heading. When belief and faith starts to fade, when it comes to a point that You might have to look for what seems like a better future, a new beginning. If you feel the confidence of having a better future, I won't stand in your way, I shouldn't. Im just telling you that sometimes what You see isn't what it is. I know I dont look like all the decent guys that girlfriends bring home for their parents to see, I know I might not have the neccessary education and qualifications to create a nice and comfortable future, I know Im not smart, Im not nice. I know I may look like the typical gangster kind and that people will judge and things like that. But deep in my heart, I know and I can confidently say that no one will loveYou more than I ever will. No one. I understand the fact that I have hurt you deep, too deep. I apologise for everytime shit happens. Yknow when we broke up I thought that we could've got back together and become stronger because I have learnt so much since You broke up with me. But no, You chose the easy way, to runaway and never looked back to the good times we've had together, leaving me crying alone. You have someone else You like now, him, a 1 month sparkle that You think is definitely nicer than someone who broke Your heart constantly for the 26 actual months You had. Im not blaming you, not anymore, I'll respect Your decision because I loveYou so fucking much. Yknow after we broke up, I thought we'd have time for a nice heart-to-heart talk, but things didnt go according as i wished it would. I didnt want to let you go because I have sworn to never leave You. Well I didnt, You did but owells. I have said this before and I'll say it again. Everytime we go out in the past, You would ask me if other girls are pretty, i would reply 'okok only lah'. Perhaps I've already told you this a thousand times, but really, You are the only girl that attracts me. For the years I've been with you, i never contacted other girls. Girls are everywhere but i didn't try to text any. Why? Because I wanted You to feel secure, fucking secure. Yknow I've never ever felt this low in my life before. August 2011 was the only point in my life where I've seriously contemplated suicide. But Im not going to be dumb and do stuffs. I've been re-reading letters that You have given me in the past but it is only now that I realised You have 'warned' me in the past before. You told me to study, for my future, for our future. I failed. You told me not to ever leave You alone again and that You hope I'll always be there for You. I failed too. Sigh. Now no matter what I do or how much I try to not let you leave me, You won't budge because there is a guy there near You who wouldn't take You for granted. I understand that. I should've seen this day coming and I still hate myself for letting this day happen. I feel so alone now. You told me this. ' God doesn't take something away from You, he's just replacing it with someone better.' Fuck that, I dont want and I dont need anyone else. If it is so, I want a better Andrea, a better you. Like I said we still have so many things to do together, Yknow I'll still be waiting for the day when you come back to me. We have not went swimming together, have not jogged together, have not played LAN together. Also, I'll be waiting for the day You come back and bring me to church like you always wanted. All these might never happen but i'll still be praying. MuiMui, I want You to remember that I'll always be there for you and don't You ever feel like You'll be using me. I wasn't there for you that day, now I'll be there for you till the day i die. To the most beautiful girl ever, Andrea, if ever You find one day, that the Darling Princess MuiMui in You have returned, HongHong would be right there waiting to welcome you back with open arms and a wounded heart, waiting for you to heal. Ill be waiting till the day you are Andrea Chong again. You will foreve be my Princess. HAHA always know that R is the end of FOREVER. The day You come back, is the day I find back happiness. I loveYou, I still do and I won't stop. Dont ever forget the other half of ACSQUARE and the 8 numbers that belong to him in your contacts. Anytime, Anywhere. I can wait foreve, and I'll loveYou foreve. Breathe, Smile, Love <3 True love never ends.

Fighting back tears,
HubbyHongHong

the day andrea.......

2011-09-06T10:19:00.000-07:00

you died. really you died.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2011-09-05T10:11:00.000-07:00

life is great, life is great. goodnight you.

once again.

2011-09-04T11:38:00.000-07:00

鸿鸿

i can wait forever.

2011-09-03T23:39:00.000-07:00

another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right through me.

Nobody is right till somebody is wrong, Nobody is weak till somebody is strong, Nobody is lucky till love comes along, Nobody is lonely till somebody is gone.
honghong

i'll keep a part of you with me.

2011-09-02T10:18:00.000-07:00

yes my dear, you are gonna fuck me for this but well ill keep a part of you with me and everywhere i am there you'll be. get online soon and scold me <3 you're on my back like how im on yours <3 goodnight princess. ill be waiting love.

honghong

Time can't erase a feeling this strong.

2011-09-01T22:32:00.000-07:00

To my princess. waiting for your return. <3 dont ever ask me if other girls are pretty, they might be, but your beautiful. period.

sucks

2011-09-01T10:56:00.000-07:00

missyou already.

Seeing a much happier you.

2011-09-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

Hi andrea. im hacking your blog again. okay so your leaving for shanghai anytime now. Remember to always stay happy there alright? i wanted to appear in front of you at the airport. but i dont want things to backfire. Well just hearing your happy voice eases my heart after this rollercoaster August. Take good care of yourself. eat more, your getting too skinny.and welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll have lotsa fun. i'll missyou fuckcrazy like how i always do when you go overseas. Things might be different now but still, smile, not for anyone, for yourself. enjoy the real you. be missin' you. see you in a week. mebecountindowntehsecondstillmeseeyouhappyface.

Breathe, Smile and Love.

Mr.HongHong

Sorry. Smile.

2011-08-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

Happy day. I screwed up. Sorry muimui :( pinky promise it wont happen again. Trust me on this okie <3

2 years ago u looked this up, i told you ill marry you.

If you are, i am too.

2011-08-29T00:53:00.000-07:00

All these while ive been thinking that all i ever wanted was you. it isnt exactly what i wanted. Because all i ever wanted was you... To be happy...

With every smile i show, a piece of my heart chips off. i laugh and smile,but deep down im crying like a fucking insecure kid. However im not going to stress you, if i have to be heartbroken to see you happy, so be it. Just stay happy and smile my gorgeous little muimui because thats all i want you to be and do. u might be thinking why i keep randomly staring at your face recently. well because ive never really did it in the past years. i want to admire and store your beautiful expressions in my memory, cos ill most probably not see them again. haha hurts man. btw i can laugh while im crying as in not tears of joy but literally smiling and laughing while im hurting so much haha ask andrea. Okay to anyone who sees this, FUCKING TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES. i swear i should have studied the real meaning behind this sentence. because i only tried to treasure after i lost.Now i can only just hope the meaning of 'nothing is too late' exists. people see me happy on the outside, only a handful know im crying silently when im alone. ill be hurting till the day a miracle happens. Only you can heal me, something that even god cannot do. ill still be praying though. August, i hate you. and i hate myself too.

to the other part of ACsquare. ily. loved, love and will always love.